Archive for December, 2008

24
Dec
08

MERRY CHRiSTMAS!

Just got back from the in-laws, now I’m at work. I supposed Christmas eve could be worse, but I’m having difficulty imagining a scenario.

PSYCHE! Christmas rocks! HAVE A HOLIDAY NEW YEARS!

ghostroachxmas

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18
Dec
08

ASCiiGOD @ Work: A Shocking Cell-Photo Essay

WARNING: THE FOLLOWING IMAGES MAY SHOCK AND OFFEND

This is what my boss’s boss had me do this evening. The plan is to piss my boss off as a Secret Santa surprise. This is admittedly some pretty pedestrian blogging, but we can’t all be Egyptian freedom fighters.

Luckily for her, I’m 49% homosexual, with a strong tendancy towards awesome interior design. Check out the following steeloz. I smell future opportunities in cubicle redecoration.

Sashay!

desk001 is this image really as small as it appears in the editing window??? hopefully the “awesome” shows through

desk002 walls, filing cabinets, phone, chair , even the stack of papers in the inbox… all vandalised!

desk003shit’s tight, yes? sort of hoping the monitor is a fire hazard (and believe me, i made sure to make it as flammable as possible!)

desk004 i’d totally rock this pattern at home. check out the arm rests! fucking sophisticated!

desk005 here’s the epitome of that 49%. attention to detail: fully functioning access to n0rp via cd-rom. classy

desk006 individually wrapped pens. penholder. swass desk design perfect for miniature wargaming or changing diapers.

I’m filled with a mixture of pride and hate. This calls for some Starbucks.

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!

08
Dec
08

Final exams and vacation pre-planning.

I’m not even supposed to be in the office today. But this isn’t one of those Dante from Clerks moments. No, I’m just here to get some peace and quiet while studying.

My wife and I babysat my niece all… day… long. This is grueling for a childless, working professional couple one of whom (raising hand) happens to also be a student and run his own business. So what if it’s online retailing, it brings in mad cake and takes work therefore, it’s real! Unless you work for the IRS. Then this conversation never occurred. Pleading the 5th.

And tomorrow is my Managerial Finance final exam. So I’m at work late, midnight, and it’s my vacation. I took 4 days off of work to ostensibly focus on studying, relaxing, and laying around. Turns out I’m here, secretly covering production issues for my coworkers, studying, stealing cheesecake, wishing I had more coffee, and blogging. (Edit: I’ve also scratched my nuts during the composition of this post).

I had a grand to-do list of things I wanted to accomplish on my vacation. This grand list has been lost in the “Wind of Change” The Scorpions sang so about so poignantly. Grandiose.

On a bright note, this class’ exams typically cover something like 8 chapters at a time. At least it seems that way. The final comprises four chapters! And one of them is about dividends, and one is about taxes. Both of these subjects are a breeze. However, I’m going to have to bone up (huh huh, fire) on the capital structure and cost of capital areas. Maybe after this PCP laced blunt.

how_to_roll_a_blunt_cigar

An all natural study aid… with PCP!

For the record, here’s what I want and/or have to do this vacation. We’ll (maybe) check back in a week or so, and laugh at how much didn’t get accomplished. In no particular order, except the order they are randomly scrawled on a notepad document on my home PC:

oo1. Transfer my blood sugar readings from my glucose meter to a journal. I’m on a new insulin regiment, and was supposed to be keeping track for my doctor. By pre-dating a journal, and essentially counterfeiting the process, I hope to impress the doc with my basketball skills.

oo2. Research stocks to buy when I get paid Friday. I’m thinking CitiGroup (C) and Amazon (AMZN). It’s not a (C)oincidence that (C)a$h starts with (C) and AMZN is ALMOST the exact same as AMAZING. I picked em. You bank em!

oo3. Buy one of those adaptors that splits a single 5/8″ (or whatever size it is) microphone jack into two. Buy a cheap(er) microphone than the one I already have (which isn’t that bad a mic really. One love.) This is for when my partner in rhyme comes down to visit for Christmas. Freestyle session to ensue. Crappy microphone is his. Home field advantage.

oo4. Organize my inventory. I’m sitting on boxes upon boxes of product dogg. This shit don’t move itself. It’s Christmas. I’ve got a few thousand dollars of crap sitting around to sell. Time to flood the streets like an episode of The Wire. No homo.

oo5. That’s it? Really there’s like a dozen more things on that list, but this was already boring me at oo1. 😦

P.S. WordPress’s new dashboard is off the hook!

P.P.S. I’m totally cranked out of my fucking head on ritalin. Time to study!