Hidden Gemz: Ascii From Tha Vault #004

The following is something I drew not so recently – at least a year ago. It was intended as an NFO file for some cause or another, I don’t remember and it’s not important. I think they wanted something punk rock, maybe a skull or a demon, but they got this ink-blot doodle instead. Neither side of the bargain was happy so it’s unfinished, but essentially done. It will never be worked on again, and that’s OK.

What this piece kind of represents to me is a state of mind I rarely get the opportunity to capture these days. Back in the day, when I was young, drunk and carefree, I’d get hit with the spirit and work on ascii art for hours at a time. When things went well it was all an all consuming passion. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss that feeling of pure creativity. It was electric, and when things were firing on all cylinders I would be completely out of control of my conscious mind. My fingers would move possessed over the keyboard, and I’d place every singleascii character with precision. Shading, shaping, and styles were all things to be seriously studied, improved upon and challenged. I’d often wake from a trance in my smoke filled room, ashtray full on my ripped, folding card table computer desk. My ass would hurt from sitting in a steel folding chair. The heat from the 486 I used far too long warming me. Sweaty probably. Tired. Completely satisfied with life.

Pausing, and thinking about the lack of this presence in my life is sad. Maybe more bittersweet. I’m sure everyone of a certain age has parallels to the feeling. An occasional melancholic reminiscence of days past. It’s a feeling I can appreciate in a lonely, resigned sort of way.

Not to say I give up hope of returning to ascii Art as a pure form. For now, the occasional “commissioned” piece can be drawn fast, and usually simply. Effort is needed to complete the piece, but usually not drenching obsession. I have my wife, life, career and goals.

I’ve been listening to the rapper Scarface’s “The Fix” LP a lot lately. He’s always been one of my favorites, and I grew up listening to his solo albums and the Geto Boys stuff. He’s always struck me, and countless others I’m sure, as something of a spiritual man. When he’s expressing darker emotions, he has a finesse that transcends usual genre cliches and speaks a lot of universal truths. Not to mention his gravelly voice is a perfect instrument for lament. One track, “Someday”, involves his spiritual beliefs concerning God, creation and the idea of belief. It’s good stuff. It always is when he’s reflecting on these things. But if the subject matter had been different, I think the last line of this song would have caught my attention. With a simple couplet he captured the feeling I got, and get, when inspiration strikes. I doubt it will translate to text, especially without context, but here it is:

“And I was singing this morning, got touched by the spirit
So I wrote it down for the homies to hear it”

You can download the song here


The saturation isn’t quite the same as it should be when viewed in Notepad, but this is close enough I guess



1 Response to “Hidden Gemz: Ascii From Tha Vault #004”

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