Flixster: Everyone Loves Shrek

Here’s some listening material while you put your pants on

There was a time, not so long ago, when I was on top of Internet Trends. Some of this was just because I was young, angry and full of energy to expend on completely pointless tasks. (Like this blog? Asshole.) But another reason was that I’d mine this log of URLs vomited by the zeitgeist for ideas to write about for this magazine I used to work at. Back then there wasn’t any Digg or similar sites to spread viral activity like the bathrooms at the Paradise Garage. You could actually get paid for finding stupid, marginally interesting internet memes and writing about them in a print magazine. Maybe you still can, but back then it didn’t seem like you were TOTALLY stealing money by just copying and pasting your browser history into a textfile and throwing your byline on it.

Since then, the internet has (d)evolved. Anyone under 25 with a passing interest in remaining “connected” is guaranteed to know what’s the hottest YouTube video of the moment. In fact, me even believing YouTube is still cutting edge shows how completely lame I’ve become. I’m sure there are dozens of more in-your-face, bleeding edge sites for people to get their LOLs on. When I visit 4chan or similar web forums, I’m literally lost. Clicking on links trying to find my way around makes me nauseous. Helen Keller thinks I’m a herb. Do people still even use the term “herb”? For reference it means “sucker duck”.

So it’s with equal parts excitement, interest and confusion that I joined Flixster. Flixster is a “social networking site”, you know, like Friendster or Orkut, oriented around movies. It’s IMDB with herpes, and I’m kinda digging it.

There’s some problems with it:

Everyone on the site is 13 years old and/or mentally handicapped. This means everything is either rated 5 out of 5 stars, or 1 out of 5 stars. There is no middle ground in their ratings. Luckily, these ratings tend to balance out, so you’re stuck with Citizen Kane and Batman: Ice Dude’s Revenge staring each other down at 3 stars. This is common on ratings based systems. People, in general, are horribly retarded and it’s a great thing that the most power we give them in life is the right to vote in elections and on internet movie sites. For now, voting requires leaving the house, this ensures politicians can sometimes build roads that just don’t go The Mall. But I digress.

You know what? I’m already bored with writing this. I was bored with the concept of Flixster two days ago, which was about 10 hours after I joined. Hahaha. Unfortunately I can’t continue this farce of a blog post. The end.

Here’s my profile.


1 Response to “Flixster: Everyone Loves Shrek”

  1. 1 Steve McAwesome
    July 10, 2008 at 2:32 am


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