A miserable failure

I really blew it last weekend. And by “it” I mean at least one brand new, shiny nickel plated computer power supply. All 500 watts went up in a spark of blue lightning, and pulled a David Copperfield on me. Shazam. Luckily there was no smoke. But there may have been fire.

Previously on Adventures In Dumpster Diving, I’d found dozens of beaten up Pentium IIIs, many suspiciously lacking CD-RW drives, but containing hundreds of gigabytes of personal information on tattered 5.25″ Bigfoot branded hard drives. During these escapades (and these escapades stretch many years, almost as many as you can count on your digits), I’ve dismantled my fair share of these homeless PCs. Gutted them like fish, strewing innards of cabling around stacks of SD-RAM, 16mb video cards and 33.6kbps modems. I’d taken sledgehammer to orphaned CRT monitors and melted motherboards down to their base elements. With emulation software, scanned shell accounts, and philosopher’s stone I’d sought the secret of eternal computer life. It was retro-edge 1980s cyberpunk adapted to modern sensibilities by necessity, and it had worked, in a way, to sustain my vampiric lust to drain the information superhighway of all essential nutrients.

But this weekend, I’d attempted a Frankenstein coup: building, from scratch, a super computer, named Rose, which would pay homage to my newly installed 20mbit fiber line, and serve as central access point to a needlessly complicated personal network controlling every vital electrical function of my household. From regulating the refrigerators humidity, to modulating my sleeping brainwaves, Rose would do it all.

But after I lovingly, albeit tiredly and hastily, slapped, screwed, jammed, slid, jostled, and snapped her components into place she greeted me with a snap and an explosion of flame out of the PSU fan. In that instant my heart sank as my anger rose. After I had spent so much time fastidiously snaking your sleek SATA cables through your insides and carefully tried to plug all the case leads into the right motherboard headers… she spit a meaty gob of electric phlegm all over my face. And all over my dreams.

Until I can get time to, you know, get someone with some experience building PCs from scratch to help me out. Preferably with a PSU tester, or a multimeter, or something.

Any ideas? 😦


1 Response to “A miserable failure”

  1. May 15, 2008 at 8:07 am

    This doesn’t seem like it’s about me, unless “power supply” and “dumpster diving” are some kind of euphemisms. Although I didn’t actually read the middle part, so hard to say.

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